1. Get yourself a good car insurance policy.
2. Learn to curse in Spanish (I can help with that)
3 Avoid driving in Hialeah at all costs.
4. Assume all the other drivers around you are one or more of the following:
a) blind
b) complete idiots
c) reckless drivers
d) not paying any attention whatsoever
e) asleep
f) not even licensed drivers
5. Grow a second pair of eyeballs so you can see said drivers coming at you from every direction at a million miles an hour and while breaking every traffic law known to man kind.
6. Assume at least three people will run every red light.
7. Realize that most Miami drivers think speed limits are merely "suggestions," stop signs are really "pause" signs, and merge lanes are opportunities to speed up and pass everyone.
8. Assume that there will be 30 accidents on the highway while you are on your way to work. Plan accordingly.
9. Realize that in Miami, rush "hour" is from 7 AM to 7 PM, Monday through Friday.
10. Be one of the few drivers in Miami that learns to use those complicated devices in cars known as turn signals...and brakes.
11. Practice deep breathing exercises. Pray.
OR...just stay home.
Seriously...be safe, wear your seat belts and may the force be with you!
Re number 6.: Wouldn't you like to be a fly on the wall the first time junior tries to explain the $250 ticket he got for running-the-red (in Dad's car) where traffic cameras are installed?
ReplyDeleteMe, too.
Or calling your parents and telling them your had an accident in their car for the second time in three months. This post is very funny; now tell us how you really feel. A car sport called (lane hoping) can be found on I95 since most drivers think this a great place for this car challenge. Some drivers think of this as a constant sport. Some drivers (also known as Patients at SMH) think all the cars parked in the garage at my office arrive with bumpers on all four corners. They seem confused when they pull out of the parking space and hit the parked car next to them while it leaves a real long big scratch.
ReplyDeleteso true... :-)
ReplyDeleteI have lived in No Central Fla for 15, going on 16 years and I still won't make a right turn on red when someone is coming from my left with their blinker on. Too many times I have seen the blinker mean nothing, (NOTHING!)to a driver approaching the corner on my left. They don't turn right. They keep on coming. They'd-a hit me if I'd made my turn and believed their blinker. That's a left over from living in SoFla! Also, I never depend on any other driver having insurance - except for moi!
ReplyDelete